``It's okay for your mother, Erica, be happy.'' That's what my mother used to say. My mother always apologized for being beaten by my father. My mother protected me when I was about to get yelled at. When my precious mother was so exhausted that she fell ill and was hospitalized, my father blamed her for the hospital bill and directed his anger at me. ``If he can't work, you should sell your body and make some money.'' No matter how much my body and mind were worn down by having my body played with by men every day, my father took it from me. My dream of pursuing a career in nursing for my sickly mother was trampled on, saying, ``If I had the time, I should go to Yoshiwara.'' I hate my father. I hate customers. I hate sex. But the thing I hated the most was myself. When I looked in the mirror, I had the same face as my mother. If I give up on everything and accept it, will I also break down? I don't like it. One day, one day, a customer approached me and asked if I would be his mistress. The man says that if she does what he says, he will pay her tuition. I feel uncomfortable with that vulgar smile. It doesn't matter whether you choose to be taken away by that father or this man, it will still be hell. Then I... Two worst options were presented. A girl's heart slowly cracks as she continues to resist the desires of men.